Songbird and Sparrow
by riribelle
Summary: There are no lies greater than the lies we tell ourselves. (one-shot)


Rikka Hishikawa is many things - smart, kind, sarcastic, passionate, stubborn - but perhaps her best trait is her ability to lie. There are many lies Rikka tells herself - that she's not jealous of being overshadowed, that she isn't lonely in an empty house with only silence for company, that she is happy to go along with selfish plans - but the most insistent lie is that she is most definitely not in love with her best friend.

It's such a deep seated lie that when she realizes, two weeks after the defeat of King Selfishness, that her best friend will never love her romantically, Rikka laughs. It's sharp and sudden, a foreign noise to her own ears, and when Raquel questions her about it, she realizes she doesn't have an answer. The realization stows away in the back of her mind, and by the end of the day, Rikka has put the silliness to rest.

Three days later, the lie falls apart. She's readying dinner when it hits her, and she drops several plates at the shock of it all. Tears stream down her cheeks without rhyme or reason, and though she can hear Raquel fretting about her, she can't find the words to respond with.

The Sparrow fell in love with the Happy Prince. Had she really been so stupid as to think she had not done the same with her own happy prince?

She doesn't remember assuring Raquel she's fine. She doesn't remember trudging up the steps to her room. She doesn't remember changing into pajamas, or when she crawls into bed.

But she remembers crying that night. She remembers pressing a hand to her mouth under the covers, miserable tears and muffled sobs escaping her. She remembers crying until there were no more tears left to shed, mourning for a love she'd never have, until sleep finally whisked her away into a dark, dreamless slumber.

* * *

She doesn't go to school the next day. Mana tries to visit in the morning, only to be warded off by Raquel.

Rikka spends the day huddled under the covers. When Mana visits after school, Rikka pretends to be asleep. It's a long two hours that Mana stays, and Rikka only budges when she's sure Mana is gone for good. She stretches her aching legs, and stumbles downstairs when her stomach rumbles.

A plate of piping hot omurice sits on the table. A note is next to it.

_I came by, but you were asleep the whole time! I hope you feel better in the morning, Rikka, love you!_

_xoxo, Mana_

Rikka stares at the note through tear-filled eyes for a moment, then crumples it up and throws it and the omurice in the trash.

* * *

If Rikka had it her way, she'd be out of school for another week, but two more days is about all she can manage before she starts feeling guilty and useless. Mana is ecstatic, of course, but every gush of happiness and every hug just feels like being stabbed in the heart just a little more.

Regina is the first to notice Rikka's distant nature and remarks about it with all the grace and subtlety of a bull in a china shop. Mana gasps in shock - she hadn't noticed Rikka being any different - _of course you didn't,_ Rikka thinks venomously,_when have you ever noticed my problems?_ \- and goodness, Rikka-chan, are you all right?

Rikka smiles a tired smile, and the lie that comes from her mouth tastes bitter, even hours later. But she's so good at lying, so convincing, that Mana takes it at face value and casts the issue away for the time being. But Regina knows, she's sure, and Regina helps in her own way, distracting Mana and leaving Rikka to be on her own.

For once, Rikka wishes she wasn't so good at lying.

* * *

Alice invites her to tea.

It isn't until the tea's being poured that Rikka realizes that the spread of sweets and the tea selections are all of Rikka's favorites. Alice never confirms it, but she never denies it either, instead offering the polite, enigmatic smile she often sported when she knew about things that others did not.

Alice says little, remarking about school and life. It's Rikka who finds herself doing all the talking - and the more Rikka talks, the more she realizes it's all she wants. Alice listens, only commenting when appropriate, and when Rikka winds down, the weight on her heart feels a little less heavy.

When the tea and sweets are gone, Alice smiles again, and asks if she feels better.

Rikka surprises herself when she says it helped.

* * *

Makoto shows up at her doorstep one morning and says they're going to visit the Trump Kingdom. She refuses to take no for an answer, and Rikka finds herself in a fancy car before she even realizes what's happening. The drive to the Trump Kingdom is done in silence, only interrupted by Davie's apology for making this so short notice.

Makoto stares hard at her the whole time. Rikka shrinks away, looking out the window instead.

When they reach the Trump Kingdom, however, Rikka's breath catches in her throat. The kingdom was beautiful and pristine, with skies of the most brilliant blue she'd ever witnessed. She'd only visited the kingdom once after it had been restored, and even then she'd never truly drank it in before.

Makoto takes her hand and shows her the sights. The castle on its own is amazing, and every new hall and room seems even more magical than the last. Makoto chatters happily as she gives Rikka the tour, and Rikka can't help catching her excitement, smiling without even realizing it. She's never seen Makoto so enthusiastic before, it was adorable.

Makoto keeps looking back at her for her reactions. Every smile Rikka gives her just makes her happier.

When they finally rest, Makoto brings her to a brilliant field of flowers. There's a gazebo there as well, and Rikka is about to thank Makoto for the informative tour, only to stop herself, seeing the wistful, longing look in Makoto's eyes as the other girl looks into the distance. Makoto blinks, realizing Rikka's gaze on her, and offers a sad smile.

They had visited all of the Princess's favorite places, Makoto explains, the sad look never leaving her face. Rikka stares - and then hugs the other girl tight.

Rikka wasn't the only one to mourn a lost love, after all.

* * *

Later, when they sit together and watch the sun set in the Trump Kingdom, Makoto apologizes for her rashness. She couldn't explain why, she admits, but she wanted to bring a smile back to Rikka's face. After a pause, Makoto also admits she's not sure why she chose to show Rikka all of the Princess's important places, but that it wasn't something she regretted either.

Rikka assures it was wonderful, and surprises herself again by suggesting they spend time together more often. She's about to take it back - only to see a warm smile spread on Makoto's face, and Rikka finds herself smiling similarly in turn.

It would be good for her, she's sure of it.

* * *

It takes half a year, but her heart doesn't feel heavy anymore. She's able to look Mana in the eye again, and continue their close friendship. Alice's tea parties and Regina's distractions aren't needed.

But she keeps her trips with Makoto.

And after a year, Rikka Hishikawa starts telling herself a new lie - that she most definitely and utterly is not falling for Makoto Kenzaki.

But even if she was?

Well, she supposes she won't mind _that_ much.


End file.
